I decided to try my hand at blogging. I’m doing this is in hopes of encouraging others to forgive, love, live, dream, inspire, and most importantly serve. I know that I don’t want to just exist; I want to be a servant for God.
It may take me several days/weeks/months to get to where I am today, but eventually we’ll get there. Let me start from the beginning…
I was born on December 18, 1981 in Oklahoma City, OK. I would love to tell you all the amazing things that happened over the course of my first 3 years of life, but unfortunately my beginning started differently than most. I was first hospitalized for “failure-to-thrive” 3 days after birth. Throughout the course of my first year, I visited the hospital over a dozen times for that same reason due to neglect of being feed from my birth mother, stated DHS. Each time I was admitted to the hospital, the nurses would take great care of me and I would gain weight by proper feeding. However, when I would go home with my birth mom I would lose all the weight plus more.
On February 12, 1982, a child abuse/neglect referral was received alleging neglect of my sister Sharon and me. At the time of the report my sister, my birth mother, and I were homeless. I was hospitalized for bruises and bite marks all over my body. The allegations were ruled uncertain.
On March 24, 1982, I was admitted to the hospital with a diagnosis of “non-organic failure-to-thrive”. While at the hospital, my birth mother roomed with me. Several times the nurses were unable to wake her during the night to feed me. She stated that she had been feeding me beef and vegetables along with cereal and formula in my bottle. The nurses had previously told my birth mother to only feed me formula because I was only three months old and seriously underweight.
A petition was filed alleging that my birth mother was unable to provide the necessary care for my sister and me. When she was confronted by the court about my biological father she stated that I was conceived by rape.
In May of 1982, I was adjudicated a deprived child and returned to my birth mother. Beginning in June, she was ordered to provide a stable home and participate in counseling and parenting skills program. She was also referred for counseling.
In late June, another child neglect referral was received alleging that the apartment was a mess, neighbors had complained of my birth mother kicking my sister and me to the ground, and there were a lot of men coming in and out of our home. DHS workers said that my body was dirty, my hair matted, and I smelled of urine. It was evident to the worker that I had not had a bath in several days. Once again I was hospitalized.
The day I got out of the hospital, my sister and I were removed from the home and placed in a shelter. The Court wrote that my birth mom used profanity and would take out her frustrations on my sister and me by kicking and slapping us. Only two months later the court placed us back with our birth mom giving her yet another chance.
From December 1981 to January 1984, I had moved over 2 dozen times going back and forth to shelters, foster homes, living with my birth mother, family members, and even on the street. Over that course of time I had also been hospitalized a couple dozen times along with my sister for different types of abuse. My birth mother admitted herself into rehab on several occasions for drug and alcohol abuse.
At age 2 ½, I had a psychological/developmental assessment to aid in adoption planning. I was described as a delightful, happy, bright little girl who was always smiling and waited patiently for directions. They said I was also strong willed and determined to do whatever task they gave me. I think my friends and family would state that is still my personality to this day…
Finally, on January 26, 1984, my birth mother’s parental rights were terminated. At this time my sister and I were prepared for adoption and were so excited about a new home and family!
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